Unity 2000 #4 unreleased script , and there's more coming..
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Unity 2000 #4 unreleased script , and there's more coming..
Unity 2000 #4
TITLE: Touched By a Fallen Angel
PAGE ONE:
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: This is “In a parking lot of a suburban shopping mall…”? This is Sting, whom I described thus: “He isn’t built all that well.”? Lord God Jesus!)
Outside a shopping mall in Hoboken, New Jersey.
He’s blocking the blasts somehow. How does he do that?
Ar…armo…hmm…Ar-mo-reens? Armor-eens? Oh. I get it. Marines…but wearing armor. So you call yourselves “Armorines.” Boy, that’s a pretty tortured pun…!
Ar-morons works better.
I think he’s reading our minds, Gunny.
Damn! Then, uh…try not to think! Keep firing!
PAGE TWO:
Pete! Get over here! One of them’s after me!
Do something!
“I’m trying, Chris. These guys aren’t easy, Chris.” Whine, whine, whine…
Stop it. And stop thinking at me so loud! It’s like you’re screaming in my mind’s ear!
Yeah, I know, you’re sorry. You’re always “sorry…”
Why are you such a…
I am not a loser. Don’t call me that.
Ah…there! Finally got a grip…
Gunny! He telekinetically wedged into my armor and pried it apart! I felt him do it!
I gotcha kid.
They talk weird…their minds are weird—sort of 2-D—and they don’t seem to care who’s in the way or how much damage they do…
…as if everything was just cardboard props for them to trash.
Even so, I can’t just explode their heads or something, Chris.
All right, all right, hang on, I’m coming!
It’s about time! Why can’t you ever do anything right? Why do you have to do everything the stupid way?
Sorry my performance doesn’t meet your standards.
You got that right. Not here, not anywhere.
PAGE THREE:
Happy now?
Yeah. For once you got something up.
The trouble with you is that you wish you were a man, you know that?
So do you.
Huh. That’s a good double entendre…
Look out!
Oww! You clumsy, limp loser…!
Jeez, Chris, I just saved your life!
Man, I’m never good enough for you.
All the weightlifting, all the trying to be the kind of man you seem to want…what’s the use?!
You sound like someone who needs to be put out of his misery.
(NOTE TO OMAR: Is this Prime Universe Bloodshot—i.e., the one we want to keep—as requested?)
Yii! Where did he come fr…AHHK!
PAGE FOUR:
Another reality.
The Westport, Connecticut mansion of Alexandre Darque.
Hey, relax, Alex. You look kind’ a tense.
I’m…a little nervous, Lou.
So let’s take a peek and see how things are going. Just dip a little water out of the tub with the magic measuring cup and pour it back in…
Ah. It turns the whole tub into a scrying pool. Cool.
No, scrying pool hot. Get it? Heh.
Looks like the pawns you recruited from the parallel realities are getting their butts kicked—except for Bloodshot, who’s about to skewer Peter Stanchek, aka “Sting.”
So? If they get used up, I’ll recruit more. There are lots more parallel realities and lots more parallel pawns.
It’s all about getting the Man in the Red Suit upset and worried. All they have to do is cause some damage, maybe kill a few of his friends, take some hostages…
Then, we’ll offer to bargain, stab him in the back and run, beg and plead for peace, send waves more pawns at him…you know the drill, Lou.
Sure. The old Ho Chi Minh-eroonie. Drives people crazy.
Exactly. We’ll frustrate him, wear him down…and sooner or later, he’ll make a mistake, leave himself open…and I’ll kill him.
PAGE FIVE:
You do good work, kid. Except, next time you conjure up servants, how about some babes with bodacious balloons instead of these ugly suckers.
Speaking of suckers, what’s the Man in the Red Suit up to?
Let’s see…
There he is…in the substrata underlying all realities…
…diligently engineering the destruction of every single reality except his own.
“To be or not to be,—that is the question:—Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?”
Hamlet, of course. Act III, scene…1? Yes.
Man, this is such tedious work…! Like lining up a zillion zillion dominoes for one big knockdown.
But… “My resolution’s placed, and I have nothing of woman in me.”—wrote the very politically incorrect Bard—“Now from head to foot I am marble-constant. Now the fleeting moon no planet is of mine.”
Antony and Cleopatra…
Let’s see…do I know anything from Love’s Labour’s Lost?
Speaking of “love”…think I’ll peek in and see how my love’s doing.
Here’s looking at you, babe.
…sandwiches for you guys.
Thanks, Gayle.
Well, if you guys have to guard me all day, the least I can do is keep you fed.
PAGE SIX:
I can’t believe that there are weirdos out there who want to hurt me. I’m lucky Phil has friends like you.
Yeah, well, the Earth is lucky it has Phil looking after it. We’re glad we can help.
Think I’ll go make some brownies.
You know, Magnus, I meant that. I have faith in Phil.
I believe in Solar—Phil—too. But there’s something wrong here. He’s being strangely secretive about what he’s doing. And when he left the first time, Gayle seemed to go into a trance.
She came out of it when he returned…and she seems normal now…
Of course, before he left again, Phil lent me a hand in case another attack came— enough of his energy in this to wipe out an army—so in a way, he’s still here.
Anyway…you know what really bothers me? I’m a Geomancer…I can pick up vibes and get info out of anything, anywhere.
Except here. Here, I’m getting no vibes at all. It’s like Solar told every molecule in this house to keep its mouth shut.
Don’t you want another drink, Lou?
Nah. Break time’s over. Your sister’s waiting for me. Thanks again for letting me play with her, by the way. She’s lots of fun.
Yes. Well. A deal’s a deal, isn’t it? Thanks for the cup and everything.
You’ve got no problem with this, right? I mean…
No, no. Enjoy.
Great. My daughter Lucy’s meeting me here later. Gotta finish up before she arrives. Later, Alex.
Ah. The nubile virgin—so beautiful, so pure, so helpless…
I thought you’d never return, O revered high priest.
Let the ceremony of sacrifice to the volcano god resume!
Oh, goody. I mean, yes, O mighty priest!
PAGE SEVEN:
I am ready. I offer my body to please the great volcano god!
Damn!
Ha! It is a crazy game Lou Morningstar do with her, eh?
It’s not so funny if it’s your sister, Anansi.
Sister? You got no sister, Mister Darque. You don’t fool the Trickster with this lie.
Your “sister” she a piece of you. A piece you split off to be the vessel for your weakness and frailty. Because you are a misogynist, you fashion this creature in the form of a woman.
That makes it worse. And what if Morningstar finds out?
He know. He love it.
Hmp. I find that even more disturbing.
Crazy, eh?
Yes. Well. Um…I’ve noticed that much of our cannon fodder has been mowed down.
Perhaps it’s time to do some more recruiting. Come with me. And bring Grigori along.
Meanwhile.
Pete! Get up! You…you loser…!
Shut up his “cheerleader,” willya?
I’m about to do you a favor, pal. At least you’ll be free of her.
PAGE EIGHT:
Uh-oh. Reinforcements!
That’s the leader! Get him, Quasi!
Flamingo, help Chris!
I’ll do our battle cry—
Nothing beats a Bud!
Man, it’s like the good ol’ days!
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: Could this action be more lame/less inspiring? I don’t think so.)
(SFX) CLONG!
What’s with these guys? They’re stupid. They stand there and wait for you to get to them like the hench-ninjas in a bad Kung-Fu pic.
(SFX) SHRINNGK!
Yii!
Zepplin! I’m afraid to try to burn that one for fear I’ll scorch Chris!
Okay, ‘mingo. I got ‘im.
Holy—! She vaporized my gauntlets! She’s got a sliver of Solar’s arm!
We were warned that he might have “armed’ some of his friends with those.
Manoman! Are you for real?
PAGE NINE:
My gun—exploding! ARRGH!
Frak! Is there a script doctor in the house?
Pain of your dialogue too great—busting a gut!
Mayday! Mayday!
In Alexandre Darque’s reality.
(NOTE TO OMAR: This scene takes place at the WESTPORT MANSION. Mr. Starlin has drawn the MALIBU HILLS MANSION, which was destroyed in the Lost Land in issue #1. This is appalling.)
Mister Darque, one of your pawns is in big trouble…requesting extraction.
Thank you, Grigori.
I hate to waste any effort on these fools—especially the really pathetic iterations.
But…I suppose opening an escape hatch for him would be good PR, Don’t you think?
Help keep up morale and all that…
(NOTE TO OMAR: Love those Connecticut palm trees…)
Ahhh!
PAGE TEN:
Look at that!
Wow! It’s like a portable hole…! He’s bamfing right back to Toontown!
So he’ll be back to take another shot at us. You really blew it, Pete. You suck.
Maybe I do.
You want me to go after him?
Whatever you say, Chris…
You always did wear the pants in the…
Sting! Wait!
(NOTE TO OMAR: Check this scene [the whole story, for that matter] against the plot. The sad thing is that when it’s in print, readers think what’s here is what I wanted and called for.)
Hmh?
Thought I heard something.
Nah.
PAGE ELEVEN:
Sorry, Chris…
Followed ‘im…just don’t have any fight left…
Wish I were more…
…of a mnnnn…
Whuh…?
Easy. Everything’s all right.
My name’s Lucy. What’s yours?
Later, way elsewhere.
…so you want us to kick innocent *SQUEE* and commit serious interdimensional vandalism to distract Solar till you can off him?
Right.
I wouldn’t do that even for somebody who didn’t make my skin crawl.
The multiverse is in danger, Woody. What else do we need to know?
Well, f’instance, we could check his references, maybe. This bozo may be in league with the devil himself for all we know.
Don’t be absurd…
…said the man in the full-face spandex super hero mask.
What he told us about the multiversal massacre Solar’s attempting makes sense in terms of quantum physics theory. It’s not something such an obvious layperson could make up.
Yeah. It’d take a genius or a bad comic book writer. In fact, I read the same plot in Wicked Wanda…
You can count on us, Darque.
Thanks, uh…Quantum.
Do we have to jump at every damn chance to save the world that comes along? Can’t we be just a little picky?
All right. But I get to pick. Now, shut up and suit up.
What do you think this is, a tux?
(WHISPER) How can you suffer these fools?
Baa-a!
PAGE TWELVE:
…pathetic. Oh, well. Two or three more stops, Grigori.
Not that I’m complaining, Mister Darque, but you could travel using your transfer gates. Why do you need us to tag along?
For protection. In case Solar comes after me.
And just what would Anansi the Spider Man-God and Grigori the Giant do against Solar?
Buy me a second or two with your deaths…
…so that I have a one-in-a-million shot to kill him.
But don’t worry. Face-to-face murder isn’t Solar’s style. Wiping away the multiverse by futzing with the quantum field is impersonal. Sanitized.
He’s unlikely to try to kill us directly. In a way, it would be acknowledging that we’re real.
There be some several iterations of Solar in the multiverse. Even one in our own reality. Perhaps you enlist some of these, eh?
No. They tend to be unstable.
Alexandre Darque’s reality. Soho.
…think I’m crazy, but…I don’t know how to say this, but…Lucy, the second I saw you…
You fell in love with me. Yeah, I know. I have that effect on a lot of men. The strange thing is, Peter, I’m attracted to you, too. That’s unusual. Rare, even.
It makes me wonder if…you might be one of my kind.
Your kind? What kind is that?
Oh, never mind. Anyway…
…I was on my way to meet my dad, but when I saw you…well, it was destiny, Providence, whatever, I guess.
Yeah.
So…want to make love?
PAGE THIRTEEN:
Later.
Sandria, would you please stop babbling! We’re trying to have a serious discussion here.
Sorry…it’s just that the volcano kept erupting and erupting! My god, brother dear, it was…spectacular…
Heh. Well, the multiverse may be toast soon. I figured, why not go out with a bang? Heh, heh.
I’d prefer not to “go out,” thank you.
Let’s see what the ol’ Armageddon Clock-eroonie says. Here, I’ll make it so you can see it, too.
Ooh, still looks bad, Alex. Time is running out.
For you, too, Lou.
And still you won’t help me?
Nope. I’m out of the messing-with-the-fate-of-all-creation biz. I learned my lesson. I’m staying out of it, come what may.
But I have to say I admire your ambition, Alex. Boy, it takes me back.
One teeny little constructive criticism, though, if I may—I think you’re going about this all wrong.
That girl, Gayle, is the key. Now, you know that Solar will defend her the most fiercely, so you’ve chosen to feint at her and strike elsewhere, at Solar’s friends. You’re not really exploiting the weakness she represents.
Human men are stupid about women. Getting to men through women has worked for me since Genesis was news.
But, Lou…!
Even you can’t help reacting over Sandria getting her bones jumped…
…and jumped…and jumped…
Give it some thought, huh, Alex?
PAGE FOURTEEN:
Speaking of girls, I wonder where Lucy is. She should have been here an hour ago.
I’m sure she’ll turn up. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some research to do.
I thought he’d never leave. You know, the sacrifice is still breathing…barely. You may have to plunge the dagger again.
Hey, hey, I thought I felt that ol’ volcano rumbling…
The sanctum of the man known as the Loremaster, Red Hook, Brooklyn.
This is the dossier on Solar?
It’s all I could find on short notice.
These are the comic books that Phil Seleski read as a child that inspired him to turn himself into the rather godlike Man in the Red Suit.
Explain to me again why these comics exist here in our reality.
They exist in many realities that split off from the Primary Reality—which, according to the lore, is the reality of the original Seleski-slash-Solar.
Realities are always splitting off different iterations of themselves. Most things in the split-ees are the same as in the “parent reality…”
So…if these comic books exist here, then whoever created them exists here, too. Right?
Well…an iteration of them, yes. Why?
Soon.
…so I told him to locate the creator of these comics. I want to talk to him.
I think—how you say? You be on to something, Darque.
Loremaster once told me that it takes very special circumstances for a work of imagination to generate a reality. Well, let’s find out just what those circumstances were.
PAGE FIFTEEN:
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: The scene description says they’re sitting at the kitchen table. In fact, this is nothing like the scene I described. Why did I bother?)
…and with Chris, sometimes I couldn’t even…you know. She thinks I’m gay. But with you…
You can see into peoples’ minds, Peter. It’s no wonder you’re in touch with the female side of sex. Nothing wrong with that. I find it exciting.
Chris found it disgusting.
Huh. Maybe she has some problems…
You know, Peter…I can be anything you want. It’s something I inherited from my father.
You mean…?
Uh-huh. I can be a boy for you, if you like. Since you can move energy, I think I may even be able to teach you how to make yourself into the girl sometimes.
Lucy, I can’t believe this. It’s like my whole life has been leading up to meeting you—and now, everything’s all right. It’s like…you’re an angel.
Uh-huh. Like I said, maybe it was Providence that you came here and found me. You’ve had a hard life. I guess it’s about time you found an angel.
By the way, why did you come here?
I don’t know all the details, some guy named Darque is causing trouble, and…
Darque? My father is at his house right now!
Really? Geez…Solar told me that he’s threatening the whole multiverse. Or something…
Daddy’s a bit of a reprobate, but he wouldn’t be involved in anything really bad. He wouldn’t dare!
Maybe we’d better go see what’s up.
Peter Stanchek’s home reality.
This is my fault. Why am I so hard on him?
Relax, Chris. It’ll be all right. Pete can take care of himself.
Hanging around here is a waste. If he was coming back, he’d have been here by now.
Hey…maybe we can go find him. I’ve got this Solar sliver…
…and he can go anywhere…right?
Darque’s mansion.
Doesn’t seem like anybody’s home.
The door was open. I’m betting if we check all the bedrooms…
Ah-hah!
Huh?
Lucy…!
PAGE SIXTEEN:
Outside.
Mister Darque…! Up Ahead!
That glow…! It’s Solar!
No, not Solar…look!
Frak! A car!
Get behind me!
PAGE SEVENTEEN:
Get inside, Darque. Grigori and me we hold them at bay.
Oh, my stars and garters! That’s Darque! That’s the bad guy!
Get him, guys!
Grigori, I need you big now.
Yeah, yeah…just a little woozy.
I’m okay, now. Get back.
Haa!
Lord God Jesus, Billy Bob!
PAGE EIGHTEEN:
Owww! Damn it!
Should have worn my seatbelt.
Dreads is fast! Watch out ‘Ming—oops!
Ullgk!
Flamingo!
PAGE NINETEEN:
Beyond all realities.
Whoa. Something feels funny…
A piece of me is in Darque’s reality!
Nothing good can come of that…
…but, Solar’s a good guy. He wouldn’t…
Look, kid, I wouldn’t lie to you—ask my daughter…
We-elll…
Solar’s trying to wipe away all realities but his own—which also happens to be your reality—to squelch potential troublemakers like Darque.
Morningstar…! I’m hurt…help me.
Darque! Now we’ll get to the bottom of this!
Stanchek! No!
Shut up.
Quit trying to mind-squirm, Darque. Can’t hide your thoughts, can’t hide the truth from me.
PAGE TWENTY:
Lucky I don’t want to kill you, mister.
Ahk!
Thanks, Zep.
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: The plot says these guys “show up.” No mention of a transfer gate. THERE CANNOT BE A TRANSFER GATE SINCE DARQUE IS INCAPACITATED AND NOT PRESENT! This MUST be redrawn.)
Uh-oh. Reinforcements!
One of ‘em looks like X-O, sort of. The other two just look…stupid.
Away with you, monkey.
Now, that hurts.
I got the fat one!
We got the fat one!
Hey! Now that hurts twi—ahhh!
PAGE TWENTY-ONE:
Whoa! Reinforcements on our side?
Solar!
Gather your friends, Quasi. I’ll transport you home. Hurry. You’ve got to get out of here. You shouldn’t be here.
Shut up, you…traitor to all existence!
Pete. What…?
You’re the problem here!
PAGE TWENTY-TWO:
Zepplin! Chris! Flamingo! Quasi! Listen to me!
I’m relaying exactly what I got out of Darque’s head—the truth. You can’t lie—not even him—when all your thoughts are laid bare!
Hey, all you guys that my brother recruited…? Alex is a little bunged up, so he sent me out to tell you that this guy Pete’s on our side now. He’s hoping Pete’s friends will come around, too.
We’ve been helping Solar…who plans to kill zillions!?
You absolutely sure about this, Pete?
Absolutely, positively, Zep.
He’s the enemy!
The end till next time.
TITLE: Touched By a Fallen Angel
PAGE ONE:
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: This is “In a parking lot of a suburban shopping mall…”? This is Sting, whom I described thus: “He isn’t built all that well.”? Lord God Jesus!)
Outside a shopping mall in Hoboken, New Jersey.
He’s blocking the blasts somehow. How does he do that?
Ar…armo…hmm…Ar-mo-reens? Armor-eens? Oh. I get it. Marines…but wearing armor. So you call yourselves “Armorines.” Boy, that’s a pretty tortured pun…!
Ar-morons works better.
I think he’s reading our minds, Gunny.
Damn! Then, uh…try not to think! Keep firing!
PAGE TWO:
Pete! Get over here! One of them’s after me!
Do something!
“I’m trying, Chris. These guys aren’t easy, Chris.” Whine, whine, whine…
Stop it. And stop thinking at me so loud! It’s like you’re screaming in my mind’s ear!
Yeah, I know, you’re sorry. You’re always “sorry…”
Why are you such a…
I am not a loser. Don’t call me that.
Ah…there! Finally got a grip…
Gunny! He telekinetically wedged into my armor and pried it apart! I felt him do it!
I gotcha kid.
They talk weird…their minds are weird—sort of 2-D—and they don’t seem to care who’s in the way or how much damage they do…
…as if everything was just cardboard props for them to trash.
Even so, I can’t just explode their heads or something, Chris.
All right, all right, hang on, I’m coming!
It’s about time! Why can’t you ever do anything right? Why do you have to do everything the stupid way?
Sorry my performance doesn’t meet your standards.
You got that right. Not here, not anywhere.
PAGE THREE:
Happy now?
Yeah. For once you got something up.
The trouble with you is that you wish you were a man, you know that?
So do you.
Huh. That’s a good double entendre…
Look out!
Oww! You clumsy, limp loser…!
Jeez, Chris, I just saved your life!
Man, I’m never good enough for you.
All the weightlifting, all the trying to be the kind of man you seem to want…what’s the use?!
You sound like someone who needs to be put out of his misery.
(NOTE TO OMAR: Is this Prime Universe Bloodshot—i.e., the one we want to keep—as requested?)
Yii! Where did he come fr…AHHK!
PAGE FOUR:
Another reality.
The Westport, Connecticut mansion of Alexandre Darque.
Hey, relax, Alex. You look kind’ a tense.
I’m…a little nervous, Lou.
So let’s take a peek and see how things are going. Just dip a little water out of the tub with the magic measuring cup and pour it back in…
Ah. It turns the whole tub into a scrying pool. Cool.
No, scrying pool hot. Get it? Heh.
Looks like the pawns you recruited from the parallel realities are getting their butts kicked—except for Bloodshot, who’s about to skewer Peter Stanchek, aka “Sting.”
So? If they get used up, I’ll recruit more. There are lots more parallel realities and lots more parallel pawns.
It’s all about getting the Man in the Red Suit upset and worried. All they have to do is cause some damage, maybe kill a few of his friends, take some hostages…
Then, we’ll offer to bargain, stab him in the back and run, beg and plead for peace, send waves more pawns at him…you know the drill, Lou.
Sure. The old Ho Chi Minh-eroonie. Drives people crazy.
Exactly. We’ll frustrate him, wear him down…and sooner or later, he’ll make a mistake, leave himself open…and I’ll kill him.
PAGE FIVE:
You do good work, kid. Except, next time you conjure up servants, how about some babes with bodacious balloons instead of these ugly suckers.
Speaking of suckers, what’s the Man in the Red Suit up to?
Let’s see…
There he is…in the substrata underlying all realities…
…diligently engineering the destruction of every single reality except his own.
“To be or not to be,—that is the question:—Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing end them?”
Hamlet, of course. Act III, scene…1? Yes.
Man, this is such tedious work…! Like lining up a zillion zillion dominoes for one big knockdown.
But… “My resolution’s placed, and I have nothing of woman in me.”—wrote the very politically incorrect Bard—“Now from head to foot I am marble-constant. Now the fleeting moon no planet is of mine.”
Antony and Cleopatra…
Let’s see…do I know anything from Love’s Labour’s Lost?
Speaking of “love”…think I’ll peek in and see how my love’s doing.
Here’s looking at you, babe.
…sandwiches for you guys.
Thanks, Gayle.
Well, if you guys have to guard me all day, the least I can do is keep you fed.
PAGE SIX:
I can’t believe that there are weirdos out there who want to hurt me. I’m lucky Phil has friends like you.
Yeah, well, the Earth is lucky it has Phil looking after it. We’re glad we can help.
Think I’ll go make some brownies.
You know, Magnus, I meant that. I have faith in Phil.
I believe in Solar—Phil—too. But there’s something wrong here. He’s being strangely secretive about what he’s doing. And when he left the first time, Gayle seemed to go into a trance.
She came out of it when he returned…and she seems normal now…
Of course, before he left again, Phil lent me a hand in case another attack came— enough of his energy in this to wipe out an army—so in a way, he’s still here.
Anyway…you know what really bothers me? I’m a Geomancer…I can pick up vibes and get info out of anything, anywhere.
Except here. Here, I’m getting no vibes at all. It’s like Solar told every molecule in this house to keep its mouth shut.
Don’t you want another drink, Lou?
Nah. Break time’s over. Your sister’s waiting for me. Thanks again for letting me play with her, by the way. She’s lots of fun.
Yes. Well. A deal’s a deal, isn’t it? Thanks for the cup and everything.
You’ve got no problem with this, right? I mean…
No, no. Enjoy.
Great. My daughter Lucy’s meeting me here later. Gotta finish up before she arrives. Later, Alex.
Ah. The nubile virgin—so beautiful, so pure, so helpless…
I thought you’d never return, O revered high priest.
Let the ceremony of sacrifice to the volcano god resume!
Oh, goody. I mean, yes, O mighty priest!
PAGE SEVEN:
I am ready. I offer my body to please the great volcano god!
Damn!
Ha! It is a crazy game Lou Morningstar do with her, eh?
It’s not so funny if it’s your sister, Anansi.
Sister? You got no sister, Mister Darque. You don’t fool the Trickster with this lie.
Your “sister” she a piece of you. A piece you split off to be the vessel for your weakness and frailty. Because you are a misogynist, you fashion this creature in the form of a woman.
That makes it worse. And what if Morningstar finds out?
He know. He love it.
Hmp. I find that even more disturbing.
Crazy, eh?
Yes. Well. Um…I’ve noticed that much of our cannon fodder has been mowed down.
Perhaps it’s time to do some more recruiting. Come with me. And bring Grigori along.
Meanwhile.
Pete! Get up! You…you loser…!
Shut up his “cheerleader,” willya?
I’m about to do you a favor, pal. At least you’ll be free of her.
PAGE EIGHT:
Uh-oh. Reinforcements!
That’s the leader! Get him, Quasi!
Flamingo, help Chris!
I’ll do our battle cry—
Nothing beats a Bud!
Man, it’s like the good ol’ days!
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: Could this action be more lame/less inspiring? I don’t think so.)
(SFX) CLONG!
What’s with these guys? They’re stupid. They stand there and wait for you to get to them like the hench-ninjas in a bad Kung-Fu pic.
(SFX) SHRINNGK!
Yii!
Zepplin! I’m afraid to try to burn that one for fear I’ll scorch Chris!
Okay, ‘mingo. I got ‘im.
Holy—! She vaporized my gauntlets! She’s got a sliver of Solar’s arm!
We were warned that he might have “armed’ some of his friends with those.
Manoman! Are you for real?
PAGE NINE:
My gun—exploding! ARRGH!
Frak! Is there a script doctor in the house?
Pain of your dialogue too great—busting a gut!
Mayday! Mayday!
In Alexandre Darque’s reality.
(NOTE TO OMAR: This scene takes place at the WESTPORT MANSION. Mr. Starlin has drawn the MALIBU HILLS MANSION, which was destroyed in the Lost Land in issue #1. This is appalling.)
Mister Darque, one of your pawns is in big trouble…requesting extraction.
Thank you, Grigori.
I hate to waste any effort on these fools—especially the really pathetic iterations.
But…I suppose opening an escape hatch for him would be good PR, Don’t you think?
Help keep up morale and all that…
(NOTE TO OMAR: Love those Connecticut palm trees…)
Ahhh!
PAGE TEN:
Look at that!
Wow! It’s like a portable hole…! He’s bamfing right back to Toontown!
So he’ll be back to take another shot at us. You really blew it, Pete. You suck.
Maybe I do.
You want me to go after him?
Whatever you say, Chris…
You always did wear the pants in the…
Sting! Wait!
(NOTE TO OMAR: Check this scene [the whole story, for that matter] against the plot. The sad thing is that when it’s in print, readers think what’s here is what I wanted and called for.)
Hmh?
Thought I heard something.
Nah.
PAGE ELEVEN:
Sorry, Chris…
Followed ‘im…just don’t have any fight left…
Wish I were more…
…of a mnnnn…
Whuh…?
Easy. Everything’s all right.
My name’s Lucy. What’s yours?
Later, way elsewhere.
…so you want us to kick innocent *SQUEE* and commit serious interdimensional vandalism to distract Solar till you can off him?
Right.
I wouldn’t do that even for somebody who didn’t make my skin crawl.
The multiverse is in danger, Woody. What else do we need to know?
Well, f’instance, we could check his references, maybe. This bozo may be in league with the devil himself for all we know.
Don’t be absurd…
…said the man in the full-face spandex super hero mask.
What he told us about the multiversal massacre Solar’s attempting makes sense in terms of quantum physics theory. It’s not something such an obvious layperson could make up.
Yeah. It’d take a genius or a bad comic book writer. In fact, I read the same plot in Wicked Wanda…
You can count on us, Darque.
Thanks, uh…Quantum.
Do we have to jump at every damn chance to save the world that comes along? Can’t we be just a little picky?
All right. But I get to pick. Now, shut up and suit up.
What do you think this is, a tux?
(WHISPER) How can you suffer these fools?
Baa-a!
PAGE TWELVE:
…pathetic. Oh, well. Two or three more stops, Grigori.
Not that I’m complaining, Mister Darque, but you could travel using your transfer gates. Why do you need us to tag along?
For protection. In case Solar comes after me.
And just what would Anansi the Spider Man-God and Grigori the Giant do against Solar?
Buy me a second or two with your deaths…
…so that I have a one-in-a-million shot to kill him.
But don’t worry. Face-to-face murder isn’t Solar’s style. Wiping away the multiverse by futzing with the quantum field is impersonal. Sanitized.
He’s unlikely to try to kill us directly. In a way, it would be acknowledging that we’re real.
There be some several iterations of Solar in the multiverse. Even one in our own reality. Perhaps you enlist some of these, eh?
No. They tend to be unstable.
Alexandre Darque’s reality. Soho.
…think I’m crazy, but…I don’t know how to say this, but…Lucy, the second I saw you…
You fell in love with me. Yeah, I know. I have that effect on a lot of men. The strange thing is, Peter, I’m attracted to you, too. That’s unusual. Rare, even.
It makes me wonder if…you might be one of my kind.
Your kind? What kind is that?
Oh, never mind. Anyway…
…I was on my way to meet my dad, but when I saw you…well, it was destiny, Providence, whatever, I guess.
Yeah.
So…want to make love?
PAGE THIRTEEN:
Later.
Sandria, would you please stop babbling! We’re trying to have a serious discussion here.
Sorry…it’s just that the volcano kept erupting and erupting! My god, brother dear, it was…spectacular…
Heh. Well, the multiverse may be toast soon. I figured, why not go out with a bang? Heh, heh.
I’d prefer not to “go out,” thank you.
Let’s see what the ol’ Armageddon Clock-eroonie says. Here, I’ll make it so you can see it, too.
Ooh, still looks bad, Alex. Time is running out.
For you, too, Lou.
And still you won’t help me?
Nope. I’m out of the messing-with-the-fate-of-all-creation biz. I learned my lesson. I’m staying out of it, come what may.
But I have to say I admire your ambition, Alex. Boy, it takes me back.
One teeny little constructive criticism, though, if I may—I think you’re going about this all wrong.
That girl, Gayle, is the key. Now, you know that Solar will defend her the most fiercely, so you’ve chosen to feint at her and strike elsewhere, at Solar’s friends. You’re not really exploiting the weakness she represents.
Human men are stupid about women. Getting to men through women has worked for me since Genesis was news.
But, Lou…!
Even you can’t help reacting over Sandria getting her bones jumped…
…and jumped…and jumped…
Give it some thought, huh, Alex?
PAGE FOURTEEN:
Speaking of girls, I wonder where Lucy is. She should have been here an hour ago.
I’m sure she’ll turn up. If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some research to do.
I thought he’d never leave. You know, the sacrifice is still breathing…barely. You may have to plunge the dagger again.
Hey, hey, I thought I felt that ol’ volcano rumbling…
The sanctum of the man known as the Loremaster, Red Hook, Brooklyn.
This is the dossier on Solar?
It’s all I could find on short notice.
These are the comic books that Phil Seleski read as a child that inspired him to turn himself into the rather godlike Man in the Red Suit.
Explain to me again why these comics exist here in our reality.
They exist in many realities that split off from the Primary Reality—which, according to the lore, is the reality of the original Seleski-slash-Solar.
Realities are always splitting off different iterations of themselves. Most things in the split-ees are the same as in the “parent reality…”
So…if these comic books exist here, then whoever created them exists here, too. Right?
Well…an iteration of them, yes. Why?
Soon.
…so I told him to locate the creator of these comics. I want to talk to him.
I think—how you say? You be on to something, Darque.
Loremaster once told me that it takes very special circumstances for a work of imagination to generate a reality. Well, let’s find out just what those circumstances were.
PAGE FIFTEEN:
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: The scene description says they’re sitting at the kitchen table. In fact, this is nothing like the scene I described. Why did I bother?)
…and with Chris, sometimes I couldn’t even…you know. She thinks I’m gay. But with you…
You can see into peoples’ minds, Peter. It’s no wonder you’re in touch with the female side of sex. Nothing wrong with that. I find it exciting.
Chris found it disgusting.
Huh. Maybe she has some problems…
You know, Peter…I can be anything you want. It’s something I inherited from my father.
You mean…?
Uh-huh. I can be a boy for you, if you like. Since you can move energy, I think I may even be able to teach you how to make yourself into the girl sometimes.
Lucy, I can’t believe this. It’s like my whole life has been leading up to meeting you—and now, everything’s all right. It’s like…you’re an angel.
Uh-huh. Like I said, maybe it was Providence that you came here and found me. You’ve had a hard life. I guess it’s about time you found an angel.
By the way, why did you come here?
I don’t know all the details, some guy named Darque is causing trouble, and…
Darque? My father is at his house right now!
Really? Geez…Solar told me that he’s threatening the whole multiverse. Or something…
Daddy’s a bit of a reprobate, but he wouldn’t be involved in anything really bad. He wouldn’t dare!
Maybe we’d better go see what’s up.
Peter Stanchek’s home reality.
This is my fault. Why am I so hard on him?
Relax, Chris. It’ll be all right. Pete can take care of himself.
Hanging around here is a waste. If he was coming back, he’d have been here by now.
Hey…maybe we can go find him. I’ve got this Solar sliver…
…and he can go anywhere…right?
Darque’s mansion.
Doesn’t seem like anybody’s home.
The door was open. I’m betting if we check all the bedrooms…
Ah-hah!
Huh?
Lucy…!
PAGE SIXTEEN:
Outside.
Mister Darque…! Up Ahead!
That glow…! It’s Solar!
No, not Solar…look!
Frak! A car!
Get behind me!
PAGE SEVENTEEN:
Get inside, Darque. Grigori and me we hold them at bay.
Oh, my stars and garters! That’s Darque! That’s the bad guy!
Get him, guys!
Grigori, I need you big now.
Yeah, yeah…just a little woozy.
I’m okay, now. Get back.
Haa!
Lord God Jesus, Billy Bob!
PAGE EIGHTEEN:
Owww! Damn it!
Should have worn my seatbelt.
Dreads is fast! Watch out ‘Ming—oops!
Ullgk!
Flamingo!
PAGE NINETEEN:
Beyond all realities.
Whoa. Something feels funny…
A piece of me is in Darque’s reality!
Nothing good can come of that…
…but, Solar’s a good guy. He wouldn’t…
Look, kid, I wouldn’t lie to you—ask my daughter…
We-elll…
Solar’s trying to wipe away all realities but his own—which also happens to be your reality—to squelch potential troublemakers like Darque.
Morningstar…! I’m hurt…help me.
Darque! Now we’ll get to the bottom of this!
Stanchek! No!
Shut up.
Quit trying to mind-squirm, Darque. Can’t hide your thoughts, can’t hide the truth from me.
PAGE TWENTY:
Lucky I don’t want to kill you, mister.
Ahk!
Thanks, Zep.
(NOTE/COMPLAINT TO OMAR: The plot says these guys “show up.” No mention of a transfer gate. THERE CANNOT BE A TRANSFER GATE SINCE DARQUE IS INCAPACITATED AND NOT PRESENT! This MUST be redrawn.)
Uh-oh. Reinforcements!
One of ‘em looks like X-O, sort of. The other two just look…stupid.
Away with you, monkey.
Now, that hurts.
I got the fat one!
We got the fat one!
Hey! Now that hurts twi—ahhh!
PAGE TWENTY-ONE:
Whoa! Reinforcements on our side?
Solar!
Gather your friends, Quasi. I’ll transport you home. Hurry. You’ve got to get out of here. You shouldn’t be here.
Shut up, you…traitor to all existence!
Pete. What…?
You’re the problem here!
PAGE TWENTY-TWO:
Zepplin! Chris! Flamingo! Quasi! Listen to me!
I’m relaying exactly what I got out of Darque’s head—the truth. You can’t lie—not even him—when all your thoughts are laid bare!
Hey, all you guys that my brother recruited…? Alex is a little bunged up, so he sent me out to tell you that this guy Pete’s on our side now. He’s hoping Pete’s friends will come around, too.
We’ve been helping Solar…who plans to kill zillions!?
You absolutely sure about this, Pete?
Absolutely, positively, Zep.
He’s the enemy!
The end till next time.
-
valiantdude
- i was the one who posted this in 2013.omg wtf. i was smoking a lot of weed then. still do!!
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Re: Unity 2000 #4 unreleased script , and there's more coming..
It looks like this lost some of the text...oops...I will repost later